I have so far experienced two times since having Sami that make me want to shout out my advice from my rooftop.
Let me say, I have little tolerance for advice directed at me, mainly because it always comes from such self-righteous mothers that breastfeed at least the recommended length of time, or eat tofu, or don't put their babies in front of the tv to get a break, or don't look forward to putting Baby to bed in order to enjoy a chilled adult beverage. Or two.
But despite my apparent ineptitude, I stumbled across two amazing items that I feel I must share.
The first came from my pediatrician. He's so tolerant of Michael and I. We taunt him, we tease him, we test him. And he always comes back with a smile and a dogged determination to not only endure us as parents, but to perhaps mold us into decent ones. But gently. He could sense from the start that I'm automatically programmed to be skeptical of any doctorly advice, and my tendencies lean towards customarily dismissing it because I'm, just, well, "different." But better. But Dr. Noah perseveres.
At the first couple of visits, we insisted that our child was above any sort of sleeping disorders, or crying jags. She was perfect. Naturally. Despite our assertations, he mentioned in passing that should the unthinkable ever occur, we might want to obtain the "Happiest Baby on the Block" book for some useful tips.
Flip by some daily calendar pages, and watch me hike to the Tattered Cover bookstore in double-time following the first 60 minute scream-session at 2am. Bought the book. Read the two pages that were pertinent. And learned that by following the 5 steps in the book, magic could occur... the most fussy baby in the world could be induced to sleep--against their will--within about 5 minutes. I had become a convert. For not only the wisdom dispensed in the book, but also for my youthful, but wise, pediatrician.
The next time I saw him I insisted that hospitals should issue this book with the baby. The key is swaddling. You like to think that your baby doesn't "like" being swaddled. No! She's a free spirit, dammit. No constricting blanket-wrapping for her. But trust me--read it. Understand the 4th trimester. And believe. It saved our sanity. And restored my battered sense of being in control.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that I cried with relief when I tried this and it worked not the first time, not the second time, not the third time, but every fricking time!! Right when I needed it most.
Fast forward several months. I have an unusually happy, easy-to-care-for child. I'll admit it. But even so, at times, bedtime could be trying. She gets in this zone at bedtime that puts her into hyper-mode. She becomes ultra-animated, and very physical, but also very prone to becoming upset and in full-out cry mode at bedtime.
Most nights resulted in putting her to bed with no crying. No fussing. But on the nights when that wasn't the case, letting her cry (more like scream) herself to sleep, were heartwrenching. What kind of dreams does that cause an infant to have?
An aside note here...I'm certain that a bazillion mothers before me already discovered this technique. But it is their own fault for not publicizing it or being adament enough about it. I'm still bent on taking credit for it.
Our bedtime ritual is to make a bottle, and head upstairs to her room. We settle into our comfortable, comforting rocker. And we read a book. Yeah, she's only 5 months old. But I want her to love books like I do. So we take 5 minutes to peruse a book. Then we shut off the light, and only allow the hall light to illuminate her room. I cover her with a blanket, and feed her what she'll accept from her bottle of formula. Then when she finally shuns that, I settle her into a particularly comfortable position, and "tickle" her face. We call it tickling. But it isn't "coochee-coochee-coo" tickling--it is a light caress of her skin. I go ever so slowly around her face and all over her little sweet head. Include the ears and nose, and the spot just under her nose, and the cheeks and the brows, and all over. Within about 60 seconds, this child virtually melts into me, and relaxes so completely that it amazes and humbles me.
By the time I am forced to rouse her and move her into her crib, she is so relaxed and content that as I tuck in her blankets and she realizes that it is bedtime, that all she can find within herself to do is smile at me.
Rarely is there crying. Just a happy attitude towards slumber.
I love to have it done to me. Her dad loves to have it done to him. Why wouldn't it feel good to a baby? I learned it from my mom. I remember her "tickling" my back when I didn't feel good--was sick. It is the most relaxing, wonderful feeling there can be.
She didn't enjoy or notice it that much when I tried it when she was just a newborn. But it appears to be magic now.
You have to be somewhat relaxed yourself, I think, to make this work. And thinking sweet thoughts while you do it might possibly enhance the effect. :-)
Try it, and I dare you to tell me it doesn't work.
No comments:
Post a Comment