Father's Day

So Michael had to work on this his Father’s Day. But we tried to make the best of it. We got him two boring shirts that he seemed to act pretty excited about. But really, they were just for work to wear under his uniform. And we got him an excessive amount of wine glasses. But we love our wine glasses so we got him these stemless ones, and these classic ones to replace some we had broken (and no, we weren’t likkered up when we broke them—just innocently washing/drying them usually) and these because we didn’t have any like them. And well we needed them. And then we got him one of these rings with my name and Sami’s name inscribed inside. And I got myself one with his name and Sami’s name inscribed inside. About that ring, he says, “Does this mean I’m doubly married? Wearing a ring on each hand?” I said, “No. It says, ‘I’m married. And I like it.’”

We had his gifts all wrapped and waiting out for him with a card from each of us on the kitchen island. And when we were setting them up, Sami said, “Daddy will say, ‘What’s all this?!’” when he comes down. And so when he came down and said, “What’s all this?!” she couldn’t have been prouder. Then she handed him the first one and said, “That’s your shirts, Daddy.” Next he reached for a box with the wine glasses in it. “What’s this?” says he. “Your cups, Daddy!” And before he could even ask, she handed him the envelope with the ring, and said, “And here’s your ring, Daddy.”

Above right is how he looked about all that disclosure.

We had gotten up early and took Sami and Jazzy to the park to run and play.

Then we came home and I made a quiche (prepped the night before) which we enjoyed on the deck. Our pretty, pretty deck-yard that we love.

After Sami woke up from her nap, I go in to get her and she says, "Mommy? Raindrops are falling down."

Me: Yes Honey. It is raining. Isn't it nice and cool? I'll open the curtains so we can see.
Me: Humm. Your windows are closed again. No wonder it is so stuffy in your room.
Me: Why did your father close those windows again?
Her, in a groggy trance-like voice because she just woke up: Because he's a goober.

Indeed.

Perspective

My work is done on this second work-from-home day this week. And it is lovely and cool and raining outside my 4 open windows (after being a stifling 96 yesterday which equates to about 106 in this office). And Sami is starting on hour 3 of her nap. And all I have to do this evening is laundry. And I don't even mind that. And I'm feeling about a bazillion times calmer than yesterday.

I had a lot of work work to get done yesterday. Stuff people were waiting for. And Sami was in a Mood. At one point she asked for some cookies. I brought her chocolate Teddy Grahams -- the only cookie in the house. She told me those weren't what she wanted and described the ones she wanted. I explained to her that those other ones were all gone last week. She FLUNG the bowl of cookies I'd brought her. I very calmly told her how angry and sad that made me, and picked them up and put them out of her reach. She then came in and wanted to sit on my lap while I was working. I told her I didn't want to sit with her right then since she had made me so sad about the cookies. She flew into a rage. Her little face got bright red, and she grabbed the under side of my upper arm and just dug in her nails. It hurt so bad and I could barely break her grip. I stayed calm but that just seemed to make her madder, and before I knew it, she grabbed me and bit me in the lower back on the side. Hard. It hurt so, so bad. I put her on the floor. Told her she was absolutely NEVER to bite or pinch. And told her I had to spank her for it. I popped her on the diaper so softly it did nothing; except humiliate her. Well, and even humiliate is too strong a word. It just put an exclamation point on what I was trying to tell her. Then I picked her up and put her in her crib in her room and shut the door. Mostly I did that because I needed to have a break from her--needed a little space between us. It was a day filled with things like that. Her flinging things in anger and just being a brat.

Now, last week Michael and I had a talk about discipline matters. And how we kind of think we're letting her call a few too many shots around here as a result, I believe, of our exhaustion at times. Like, it is easier to just give in and let her have her way with small things like watching f-ing Barney, or having pretzels an hour before dinner, or little things like that. So we decided to be a bit more strict and steel ourselves for her little meltdowns instead of allowing her meltdowns--or the promise of an ensuing meltdown--to aggravate us into letting her have her way. So I think she's sensed this clamping down a bit plot. And she's rebelling against it.

She seems to be testing to see just what will and will not fly at this point. But geesh. She just uses up all my patience and tolerance and then I find myself snapping at Michael over nothing.

Anyway, when all was said and done and she was calmed down and I talked to her about the very visible bite on my side, she started crying all over again but this time I could see she was embarrassed and feeling badly about it. I hugged her and held her and told her we all lose control of our emotions and have hard times, and that it was okay. She melted into me in that heavy way and stayed that way for an extra long 'hold.' And trust me, it's true. We do all have hard times with controlling our emotions.

Anyway, no time for a lengthy entry. But maybe it takes days like yesterday to make me so appreciate days like today. Maybe I need the perspective.

All manner of things

The past 3 weeks have been chock full of …what. Life I guess. Good stuff. Just chock full. Well, mostly good stuff. Except for the fact that I literally have not caught up on my laundry for going on a month now. But that’s because I can’t be bothered with laundry when there are more fun things to do. Important fun things.

First Sami’s Aunt Bec came from Iowa for a visit. I took the whole week off from work, and we just hung out together. Shopped a lot. Ate whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. And had a ball. Sami took no time at all acclimating herself to being comfortable around Aunt Bec. In fact, she decided she wanted to sleep with her the very first night Bec was here. Sami got so caught up in the Fun that is Bec that she just didn’t want the attention to end at bedtime.

The second night as we all wound down for the night in our finished basement where my sister’s bedroom was, I noticed Sami was particularly busy. Remembering things she needed upstairs, etc. And then I noticed her sitting by herself quietly on the stairs, off by herself.

I went over and (this makes me feel like such a mom) suddenly got this sense… I just ‘got it.’ I said, “Sami, can I talk to you?” And I sat down by her. And I gently asked her if she wanted to sleep with Mommy and Daddy tonight instead of sleeping with Aunt Bec again. I think she got it into her head that once she made that choice the first night, that she was kind of obligated to stick with it. And I could tell she didn’t want to. It was kind of heart-breaking, because she didn’t want to say anything. When I asked her about it and told her she could sleep wherever she wanted, you could just see the load lighten. She brightened and was relieved. I’m glad I figured it out.

She did decide a few nights later to sleep with Aunt Bec again one night, though.

Anyway, then after my sister left, Michael had a week and a half vacation. I worked part of it, but that meant he was home each evening and we actually had family time for more than 3 evenings a week. It was heavenly. Sami again stalled at bedtime (she’s a master at it, too). This time I think because she so enjoyed being around both Mommy AND Daddy so much that she was afraid she’d miss out on something by retiring.

But that’s what caused me to get so far behind on housework. I too couldn’t tear myself away from the family unit to go do boring laundry. And so I didn’t. And neither did anyone else, oddly. So there you have it – lots and lots of laundry. Insurmountable laundry. Coupled with the fact that during this time our weather turned unmistakably summerish, and I had to switch out my closet and Sami’s from winter to summer. The winter stuff still isn’t all packed/stored away in the off-season closet in the basement.

But, when I took a couple of days off with Michael, we achieved glorious results outdoors. Michael moved the rock displaced by the building of my raised vegetable beds last summer and replaced the bark out front so that both sides of the front have rock now, instead of the ugly unkeepable bark crap. And we built an addition to our deck to house our grill. It came out so very lovely we still go out there nightly to gaze adoringly upon our work.

And we planted and planted and planted. Perennial flowers aplenty in our deck yard. 64 (!) baby tomato plants. Annuals in baskets and pots. Oh my, ours is a lovely little slice of heaven. We got our fountain set up in the deck yard, and it is bursting with our perennials planted the past 2 years, plus filled in with new ones. Oh we love it so.

Sami’s certainly—how do I say—pushing to see what the boundaries are lately. Read: bossy and whiny and sassy. Fun too, and funny. Don’t get me wrong. But whew – this molding of her little psyche is exhausting work. By nature I am not a tolerant, patient, understanding woman. But of course, one needs to be in this parental role. Very exhausting. On some things, she’s maturing and can be reasoned with and I see light at the end of the tunnel. On other things, she’s as 2-year-oldy as she can be.

But the good news is, she falls down much less than last year. Why is that good, you ask? Well not only for her good health and not-so-scraped knees, but also because when they’re nearing 2 and falling down constantly, dresses are highly irritating to them. Because when they go to stand up and stand on the hem it makes them scream. Fast forward one year? Oh, my sister and I had such fun buying pretty little sundresses for her. And she loves them this year. Oh joy! And she loves her necklaces, and her bracelets, and her anklets, and shoes, and all manner of things fashion. What fun. What very good fun.