Geez, how did 11 months go by already? No more baby, infant Sami. She seems very close to walking (Michael and I are convinced she'll take some steps before she turns 1 at the end of this month).
She's no longer eating baby food at all really. Well, she'll still eat the applesauce, and that is it. Otherwise, she is pretty insistent on feeding chunks of adult food to herself. When she would first allow us to feed her the chunked adult food, she'd eat anything. Now, not so much. If it is vegetables, all she does is squish them pointedly under her index finger. She'll occasionally allow us to feed her yogurt, but she's pretty particular about the flavor. Orange creme is her current favorite.
(starting writing this 3 weeks ago, and never finished…might as well post it)
Monday, August 08, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
Frightened
Here are the crazy thoughts that actually found their way into my head tonight as I was sitting in the dark, on a perfect beautiful night, on my patio, listening to music. I was thinking back about when I was pregnant with Sami and how she was really just theoretical at that time. I mean, every once in a while -- because I was seeing a "high risk" pregnancy specialist (you know, because I was "of a certain age") -- I would get to glimpse her grainy features in a 3D ultrasound, but ultimately she was still just a blob, more or less. I absolutely could not WAIT to see how she was going to look and be -- that was the thing I anticipated most about finally delivering her -- was to see this little being that I'd been speculating about all this time. But the high risk "people" had this knack of providing wildly horrendous and scary possibilities for me to go home and worry about with every visit. What if this or that went wrong? Anyway, here I sit, and I'm thinking about how I handled it at the time (which was, in retrospect probably Not Very Well) and how I kept applying their doomsaying to this blob thing--and even that was terribly scary, you know, but I dealt with it with Michael's unwavering assurance that everything was going to be fine. So I was thinking, what if I knew Sami the way I know her now -- her personality; her penchant for making me laugh; her sweet, sweet nature; her sunny smile, her beautiful heart... can you imagine if you somehow had to possess that knowledge of truly knowing her like I know her now, and then have to back up and go through all that scariness again? I mean, it was one thing applying all that fear to an unknown person... what if I had to go back and face all that fright knowing that the scary possibilities they would list for me existed, and actually referenced the Sami I know now. My gosh. Can you imagine the angst? The basket case I would have been?! So I was thinking that. But in a thankful way.
And how weird that I find a way to be thankful that I didn't have to be that frightened. :-)
And then that got me to thinking that even though it is my birthday tomorrow, and that that used to be such a Big Deal -- but that this time Michael has to be out of town for 4 days over my birthday and basically it'll just be me and Sami for my birthday. And I thought about how much I love her... and him. And how it just isn't a big deal any more for me to think about celebrating Me on my birthday. Sure I rationalized some purchases of some new clothes this past week, and I'll admit Sami and I made a special trip walking to the store today to buy a nice bottle of my favorite wine in anticipation of a solo dinner of crab legs and chardonnay tomorrow night--just for myself. But I'm not playing the martyr with this scene. It is truly a happy thought to think of spending my birthday with Sami, at the same time I look forward to acknowledging the day in some pleasant way with Michael when he returns from his work conference. Geez. What's the deal? Have I actually matured finally? Have I learned not to be so selfish? Who knew having this amazing experience every day with this incredible daughter brought along with it such satisfying life lessons? :-)
Enough about me. Today, while I was working, Sami kept sidling up and tugging on some papers I was working on that were on top my desk but within her reach. And I decided that even though "they" say you shouldn't try to teach your baby right from wrong at this age--that in fact, it is better just to distract them--I had this feeling that she's smart enough, and has enough consciousness about herself that she could begin to grasp the basics of right and wrong--yes and no. So I told her "no." Firmly, but not in a mean fashion. And it was more about my facial expressions. She's so used to me smiling and being delighted with her, and when I wasn't, it clearly made an impression. So she did it, like, 4 times in a row. To test me and make sure she was seeing what she was seeing. That is, a stern mom that wasn't that amused with her. It totally flummoxed her. She just stood there at my side, looking earnestly into my eyes, and then you could see a little flicker pass by her eyes... and she took hold of my hand, and pressed it to her mouth in her version of a kiss.
Yeah. She got me with that one. :-)
And how weird that I find a way to be thankful that I didn't have to be that frightened. :-)
And then that got me to thinking that even though it is my birthday tomorrow, and that that used to be such a Big Deal -- but that this time Michael has to be out of town for 4 days over my birthday and basically it'll just be me and Sami for my birthday. And I thought about how much I love her... and him. And how it just isn't a big deal any more for me to think about celebrating Me on my birthday. Sure I rationalized some purchases of some new clothes this past week, and I'll admit Sami and I made a special trip walking to the store today to buy a nice bottle of my favorite wine in anticipation of a solo dinner of crab legs and chardonnay tomorrow night--just for myself. But I'm not playing the martyr with this scene. It is truly a happy thought to think of spending my birthday with Sami, at the same time I look forward to acknowledging the day in some pleasant way with Michael when he returns from his work conference. Geez. What's the deal? Have I actually matured finally? Have I learned not to be so selfish? Who knew having this amazing experience every day with this incredible daughter brought along with it such satisfying life lessons? :-)
Enough about me. Today, while I was working, Sami kept sidling up and tugging on some papers I was working on that were on top my desk but within her reach. And I decided that even though "they" say you shouldn't try to teach your baby right from wrong at this age--that in fact, it is better just to distract them--I had this feeling that she's smart enough, and has enough consciousness about herself that she could begin to grasp the basics of right and wrong--yes and no. So I told her "no." Firmly, but not in a mean fashion. And it was more about my facial expressions. She's so used to me smiling and being delighted with her, and when I wasn't, it clearly made an impression. So she did it, like, 4 times in a row. To test me and make sure she was seeing what she was seeing. That is, a stern mom that wasn't that amused with her. It totally flummoxed her. She just stood there at my side, looking earnestly into my eyes, and then you could see a little flicker pass by her eyes... and she took hold of my hand, and pressed it to her mouth in her version of a kiss.
Yeah. She got me with that one. :-)
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
wysiwyg
Sami is so inquisitive and can now crawl across a room in just a heartbeat. Into everything. If I open the fridge, she just comes scooting from wherever she is to try to get into it. Same with the dishwasher. What is the attraction, I don't know. But she is bent on exploring them. Last night she was so cute, and showed me how literally babies can apply their logic to things... they only know what they see right now.
Just as Michael and I finished up dinner out on our patio the other night, Sami woke up from a late, short nap, and our next-door neighbor Dee came over. Sami was eating raisins out there with us, and I asked her if I could have one, and she fed it to me. Then I asked her to give Daddy one, which she did. Then I told her Dee wanted one -- and this was so adorable, she put the raisin up in the sky towards Dee's upstairs window where she always yells down at us when we're out on the patio, and just then it dawned on us that Sami doesn't realize that the Dee in the window is the same woman that comes over to the patio. So, so cute.
I guess we always say things like "There's Dee!" when we see her in the window. But when she comes over to visit on the patio, we probably don't say her name a whole lot, and so Sami never figured out how all of that transpired.
Just as Michael and I finished up dinner out on our patio the other night, Sami woke up from a late, short nap, and our next-door neighbor Dee came over. Sami was eating raisins out there with us, and I asked her if I could have one, and she fed it to me. Then I asked her to give Daddy one, which she did. Then I told her Dee wanted one -- and this was so adorable, she put the raisin up in the sky towards Dee's upstairs window where she always yells down at us when we're out on the patio, and just then it dawned on us that Sami doesn't realize that the Dee in the window is the same woman that comes over to the patio. So, so cute.
I guess we always say things like "There's Dee!" when we see her in the window. But when she comes over to visit on the patio, we probably don't say her name a whole lot, and so Sami never figured out how all of that transpired.
Funny Sami
Oh that Samster... she is just in here in my office playing with her "new" (from a garage sale) little activity table toy. And she was all involved in it, and and was kind of forgetting that I was here, ya know. And then I coughed a little bit, and I glanced at her, and without looking at me, her eyes just lit up because when she heard me cough, it reminded her that if she fakes a cough, we will give her attention and go, "Are you awright?!" So sure enough, she shot me a couple of little fake coughs, and then when I'd turn around in my chair to her and go, "Are you awright?" she'd just grin. And then she did it like 3 more times. But before she coughs she has to kind of squint her eyes to concentrate on the noise she's going to make, and on the last one, it just all went awry and she made this hilarious, pathetic little funny fading noise, and the look on her face was so funny and dear, and it made me laugh out loud hard -- now she's just beside herself with pride that she made me laugh so hard, but she can't quite figure out what she did to do it. Oh that girl.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Monday, June 06, 2005
Sami Crawls and Gets Called "Spoiled"
Yep, it is official. Sami crawled! Last Wednesday evening. Here's the thing; with our schedules, and her early bedtime, her dad and I are at home, together, with her, during waking hours for what, maybe 6 hours per week? What were the odds that her first official crawl happened with both of us sitting right there watching her? I'll just admit it too, we both got a little teary-eyed. We're such goobers over her. Anyway, she's been pretty mobile by virtue of scooching, but she finally got up on her hands and knees to stay and move that night. Of course, now here's the part where I go on and on about how cute it was/is. She isn't real coordinated at it yet, so her little crawl-steps are these teeny little choppy movements, and yes, it is wildly adorable.
After my entry last night, following the late phone call from the distraught friend, I had to have a babysitter for a few hours today, to go take over the oversight of our company's golf tournament registration and check-in. About a week ago, I had decided I had wanted to go out to the tournament just for fun, and so had called my regular favorite babysitter, Leslie, but she wasn't available. And she had suggested two friends, with whom I made contact, but neither of them were available either. So I had resigned myself to the fact that I just couldn't go. Then I got this emergency call last night, leaving me with no choice but to go with Irene. We kind of refer to her as the wacky babysitter. She's very sweet, older (retired), but unfortunately she usually takes care of old people and was just branching out into youngsters the first time we began using her. And that's when we still had SamtheCat, and Michael swore when we used her that she seemed just befuddled enough that one night we'd get home and she'd have tucked the cat into the crib and fed the baby catfood. Anyway, we had to have SamtheCat put down 2 weeks ago, so that's not a worry anymore. :-( And honestly, she is a very nice older lady, and with being retired is much more available than our college-age sitters. So I called her out of desperation and she agreed to come over today. I had already left for the tournament, so Michael had the task of kind of reaquainting her with Sami, and formula and where we keep everything, etc. Well, with Sami right at 9 months, she's peaking with her "stranger anxiety" phase. And this was no exception, I guess. At one point I called home to see how it was going after Irene got there but before Michael left for work, and all I could hear was Sami screaming, and Michael going, "It isn't really going very good." (Just so you don't feel bad, please know that shortly after that, Sami went to her crib for a nap, and slept until just before I got home. So she was fine.) But the funny part is, Michael then called me on his way to work and was still bristling at Irene's offhand comment that Sami was "spoiled." It really irked him. He goes, "She isn't spoiled, she just loves her daddy. She's daddy's girl." Then I think he mumbled some other stuff too.
Then when I got home, and Irene kind of recapped the couple of hours I was gone, she sort of admonished me about Sami's reaction to her. She subtly indicated that in her opinion, Sami needed to be exposed to more strangers. It was clearly her opinion that that was the source of Sami's "bad" behavior. See, in Irene's mind, she's our only babysitter. So she thinks that the 2 times we used her were the only times Sami's ever been with anyone outside mom and dad. Now, I didn't go out of my way to dispel those thoughts of Irene's, because -- well, I don't know. You just feel like you're two-timing your babysitter if you use other people I guess. I know it is stupid. But we liked our other babysitter so much we use her whenever we can, but we don't want to offend Irene onaccounta she's so available for emergencies. See?
So what I couldn't bring myself to tell ol' Irene was that Sami has never cried when we leave her with Leslie. So I ended up having to listen to her advice about how to raise my child (please note, Irene has no children herself) without being able to properly defend myself. That's probably pretty funny -- me taking ill-advice without mouthing off back to someone. I don't know if that has ever happened before.
After my entry last night, following the late phone call from the distraught friend, I had to have a babysitter for a few hours today, to go take over the oversight of our company's golf tournament registration and check-in. About a week ago, I had decided I had wanted to go out to the tournament just for fun, and so had called my regular favorite babysitter, Leslie, but she wasn't available. And she had suggested two friends, with whom I made contact, but neither of them were available either. So I had resigned myself to the fact that I just couldn't go. Then I got this emergency call last night, leaving me with no choice but to go with Irene. We kind of refer to her as the wacky babysitter. She's very sweet, older (retired), but unfortunately she usually takes care of old people and was just branching out into youngsters the first time we began using her. And that's when we still had SamtheCat, and Michael swore when we used her that she seemed just befuddled enough that one night we'd get home and she'd have tucked the cat into the crib and fed the baby catfood. Anyway, we had to have SamtheCat put down 2 weeks ago, so that's not a worry anymore. :-( And honestly, she is a very nice older lady, and with being retired is much more available than our college-age sitters. So I called her out of desperation and she agreed to come over today. I had already left for the tournament, so Michael had the task of kind of reaquainting her with Sami, and formula and where we keep everything, etc. Well, with Sami right at 9 months, she's peaking with her "stranger anxiety" phase. And this was no exception, I guess. At one point I called home to see how it was going after Irene got there but before Michael left for work, and all I could hear was Sami screaming, and Michael going, "It isn't really going very good." (Just so you don't feel bad, please know that shortly after that, Sami went to her crib for a nap, and slept until just before I got home. So she was fine.) But the funny part is, Michael then called me on his way to work and was still bristling at Irene's offhand comment that Sami was "spoiled." It really irked him. He goes, "She isn't spoiled, she just loves her daddy. She's daddy's girl." Then I think he mumbled some other stuff too.
Then when I got home, and Irene kind of recapped the couple of hours I was gone, she sort of admonished me about Sami's reaction to her. She subtly indicated that in her opinion, Sami needed to be exposed to more strangers. It was clearly her opinion that that was the source of Sami's "bad" behavior. See, in Irene's mind, she's our only babysitter. So she thinks that the 2 times we used her were the only times Sami's ever been with anyone outside mom and dad. Now, I didn't go out of my way to dispel those thoughts of Irene's, because -- well, I don't know. You just feel like you're two-timing your babysitter if you use other people I guess. I know it is stupid. But we liked our other babysitter so much we use her whenever we can, but we don't want to offend Irene onaccounta she's so available for emergencies. See?
So what I couldn't bring myself to tell ol' Irene was that Sami has never cried when we leave her with Leslie. So I ended up having to listen to her advice about how to raise my child (please note, Irene has no children herself) without being able to properly defend myself. That's probably pretty funny -- me taking ill-advice without mouthing off back to someone. I don't know if that has ever happened before.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Nothing Good
So I'm given this gift... this unbelievable, incredible, blessing. This little being, this person who measures 29" by what... 7"... x 21 pounds. And no matter the day and the trying times therein, I swear I always remember that I have been given something precious and sacred and unspeakable... and I honestly--every day--consciously think on purpose, about how lucky I am. And I truly marvel at the love I get to feel for her, and then second only to that is the love I feel for her father. I love them both unspeakable amounts.... so, so much.
And I constantly worry that even though I am wildly grateful in a literal sense--each day-- for what I've been given.... I still worry that I'm not being grateful enough to forestall something terrible happening to one of them.
And now I tell you that when things happen at work; you know, like someone goes, "I just absolutely must have this by 9am tomorrow." And when they say that, I have literally always said to myself, "Like... if you don't get it by then... really... will it really matter?!" I swear... my comparison to put things in perspective has always been, "Okay, is it a Big Deal? Is it really important?" And I always say to myself (and sometimes others) "It isn't like someone you love has cancer. So get over it."
And then one of your good friends / coworkers finds out her husband has cancer. Lungs and brain. And then there is nothing good left to say.
And I constantly worry that even though I am wildly grateful in a literal sense--each day-- for what I've been given.... I still worry that I'm not being grateful enough to forestall something terrible happening to one of them.
And now I tell you that when things happen at work; you know, like someone goes, "I just absolutely must have this by 9am tomorrow." And when they say that, I have literally always said to myself, "Like... if you don't get it by then... really... will it really matter?!" I swear... my comparison to put things in perspective has always been, "Okay, is it a Big Deal? Is it really important?" And I always say to myself (and sometimes others) "It isn't like someone you love has cancer. So get over it."
And then one of your good friends / coworkers finds out her husband has cancer. Lungs and brain. And then there is nothing good left to say.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Made-up Songs for Sami
(Now, of course, many of these have choreography that go along with them, and you can't know the wonderful tune these get sung to, but you'll just have to imagine.) For posterity, a few of the little songs I've made up for Sami:
- "Sami Bragg... Sami Bragg... she's a cutey, she's a beauty... Sami Bragg."
- "Sami Sam the Samster Sam; she's so pretty yes she am... Sami Sam the Samster Sam, she's a sweetie yes she am..." (The particular beauty of this one is that you can make up endless verses.)
- "Good morning, good morning; it's such a lovely day... Good morning, I love you, in each and every way."
- "Rockin' with the baby, rockin' with the baby... rock 'n rock, rock 'n rock... rockin' with the baby." (Of course on this one you can randomly insert "my Sami" instead of saying the more generic "the baby." Or if you really want to mix things up a bit, you can do "Singin' with the baby" on alternate verses.)
- "Woo hoo... woo hoo hoo; ah hah... ah hah hah." (This one is from a current commercial, and a particular favorite of Sami's since she can "sing" the first two syllables with me. It makes her father's eyes roll back in his head after Sami and I have sung it about a dozen times in a day.)
As far as your more traditional songs go, with the nursery rhymes and such, our tendency is to get about 8 words into them and then kind of veer off to lah-lah-lahing, since sometimes the words aren't so fresh in my memory. These made-up songs are better anyway; more personal.
Out = In
That's right, Sami just passed the 9 month mark. So she's kind of been "out" as long as she was "in." Which means she's had an impact on my life for 18 months now. Wow.
Stuff about Sami at 9 months:
Stuff about Sami at 9 months:
- She had her 9 month check-up at her doctor's yesterday. She has really plateaued (according to my home scale) in her weight gain now that she's eating "real" food, and so I was certain she would have dropped out of the 90-something percentile she has been in since she was just a few weeks old, as far as weight and height. But all babies must plateau out at this point, because with her weight at 21.25 pounds, and her height at 29 inches -- she remains right at that 90 percentile. Meaning--for those of you not living in baby- percentile-world with the rest of us new moms and dads--that only 10 percent of the babies out there are bigger/taller than her. Average, would of course, be at 50. The good news is her height and weight remain amazingly locked together, so proportion-wise, she's perfect. And I don't think she's going to be Giant Baby or anything, she just seems so healthy and robust, and grows and grows.
- She can babble pretty good now. She thinks she's really giving you a good talking to, anyway. And every once in a while she'll stumble across random syllables that form a word appropriate as an answer to a question we might have just asked her, and it gives us such a good laugh. You know, something like, "Oh my... Mommy is having an exquisite hair day, don't you think, Sami?" And she'll go, "Uh, uh." Right on queue. Love that.
- She remains completely smitten with her dad. She lights up when he comes home or into the room. Mom who?
- Chew and chew and chew. I can't help myself from saying this every time I give her a bite of "grown up" food. But I swear she understands. And she does chew and chew and chew. Only still the 2 front teeth, but her others are all right under the surface and she's gotten quite proficient at chewing up small bites of everything we can think up to give her. She especially is partial to any kind of meat. She loves chicken, turkey breast, barbecue beef ribs, steak, burgers, sausage -- anything. And she likes bread, peas, cooked green bell pepper, cheese, tomato. The things she's not yet so sure of mostly have to do with texture -- cottage cheese makes her shiver, rice is questionable. Funky new textures have much more bearing with her than the actual taste of things, apparently.
- She'll now goof around with mostly, but also actually drink part of, a cup of water from her sippy cup. I made the mistake of giving her orange Gatorade the other day, and she loved it. I immediately remanded myself. I should have started with water, not something sweet. Oops.
- Going out in the stroller for a long walk, especially if it is breezy at all and maybe blowing hard enough to move her hair, makes her literally squeal with delight. She loves being outside, and if it is breezy, the experience is complete for her.
- Her personality is beginning its debut. For the most part she is a sunny, happy, smiley little person. But I see the dark shadows of her mother's presence too. Say you dilly-dally a little while making her lunch? No patience whatsoever. And she doesn't cry like a baby when she's impatient. She lets loose with this kind of--I don't know how to describe it--but it is the same noise I make when something is really frustrating me. Some inanimate object you know -- like trying to put back together something you've had to take apart, and no matter what you do, you can't get a nut screwed back onto the bolt?
- When we go in in the morning now to get her from her crib -- just starting this past week -- she's standing up all the time now. She can pull herself up and will stand and stand there.
- Still no crawling proper, but she can scooch across the room with ease and speed now. And she's getting up on her hands and knees for longer and longer periods of time. It seems as though it will just be days now before she figures it out.
- Her hair is almost in her eyes. It grows so fast now. I can have film developed from photos I just took 2 weeks ago, and when I look from them to her, and see how fast her hair is growing, it is surprising. Since I am the official family haircutter -- I do her dad's, and I do my own, of course I will be taking on this new task. Her father is very nervous.
- I personally cannot stand to step outside without my sunglasses on. And when the sun gets in Sami's eyes, it really seems to bother her. So I ordered her a pair of BabyBanz sunglasses. They have an adjustable band to go around her head instead of the traditional style -- the better for keeping on a baby. And they arrived this week -- pink, of course. She looks way too adorable in them. And if you distract her with a toy or something right as you put them on her, she immediately forgets about them and is very comfortable wearing them. So, so cute.
- She's also pretty tolerant of hats. Which, of course is good... what's cuter than a baby in a hat? Nothing.
We can't even fathom for ourselves how much we love her, and enjoy her and delight in her every day. We honestly marvel to each other all the time what a gift it is to have this incredible, sweet, beautiful child in our lives. She fills our hearts so. She could not be more loved.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)